


I've Got Troubled Thoughts and the Self-Esteem to Match

by allyoop_1



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, Insecurity, Levi is a sweetie, M/M, One Shot, eren is an idiot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-06-10 06:57:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6944425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allyoop_1/pseuds/allyoop_1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren thinks Levi is cheating on him.</p><p>(He's not)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I've Got Troubled Thoughts and the Self-Esteem to Match

**Author's Note:**

> I think I’m obsessed with overly-emotional Eren. And Honey Boo Boo. But is that really such a bad thing?

Eren liked to think he was a pretty levelheaded person.

Okay, so that was a lie. He was probably the least levelheaded person he knew, and that included his mother-in-law after they’d killed that hot doctor on _Grey’s Anatomy_. But there was usually a good reason for his emotional outbursts.

Okay, so that wasn’t true either. He was a hothead, sue him. He just felt everything really deeply. And sometimes that was a good thing, like the all-consuming love he felt for his husband or the overwhelming joy he experienced while annoying the fuck out of people at his job (yeah, he was a telemarketer, it’s okay to hate him). It probably wasn’t healthy to let his emotions completely consume him at times, but he was married and had a job, so take that Greg Swaggart, high school counselor, he _could_ function in everyday life. 

So, levelheadedness, yeah he didn’t really have it. It came as no surprise, then, that when Levi started coming home late from work and spending copious amounts of time online, Eren began to mentally divide up their assets and earthly possessions in the face of their impending divorce (because fuck if he wasn’t getting the chinchilla).

It’s not that he didn’t trust Levi, or that he thought he would ever cheat on him, but he just couldn’t push past the deadly cocktail of negativity and self-doubt swirling around in his headspace and infecting all his thoughts. It didn’t help that they were married, had already celebrated their anniversary and both their birthdays, so he knew Levi wasn’t just preparing some cutesy little surprise for him (and yeah, he’d asked Isabel for confirmation- she’s just snorted and asked if he really thought Levi would ever intentionally do anything cute, which good point).

So he’d been stewing about it for a while now. He had been sure that he’d already reached his lowest point last week after crying into a bowl of soggy Frost Flakes for a solid two hours, but he thought he had a new appreciation of what low really was as he watched his seventh straight episode of _Honey Boo Boo_ in the pitch black living room while aggressively cuddling his chinchilla.

Swallowing another spoonful of Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream and wiping the back of his mouth with the hoodie he’d been wearing for three days straight (it was the weekend, okay? He was allowed to simmer in his own filth if he wanted to), he sniffled and avoided thinking about how Levi should have been home from work by now. He didn’t care, no really he _didn’t,_ because him and Pumpkin were having a great time vegging out by themselves.

“We don’t need no man, do we Pumpkin?” he addressed the chinchilla tucked under his chin. Pumpkin just blinked lazily up at him before returning her beady little eyes to the screen. _Oh to be so naïve and carefree_ , Eren thought with an internal sigh.

He toyed around with his cellphone for a moment, briefly considering calling Levi to demand to know where he was but ultimately deciding not to. He hadn’t sunk that low yet.

“Yet,” he emphasized to Pumpkin, narrowing his eyes meaningfully. Perhaps sensing his darkening mood, Pumpkin began squirming in his grip until Eren reluctantly let her drop to the carpet and scamper off. He brought a hand to his brow. “God, even my chinchilla thinks I’m pathetic.”

“Can’t blame her. You are talking to yourself with all the lights off.”

Eren jumped and whirled around, just noticing Levi swinging his laptop bag over his head and setting it gently beside the door. Even if Eren was a little upset with him, he couldn’t help the way his eyes raked down his husband’s body, taking in the way the pristine white button down hugged his chest and biceps. When he turned to hang his jacket on their secondhand coatrack, Eren gulped. That ass, though.

Loosening his tie, Levi strolled to the back of the couch and pressed a brief kiss to Eren’s lips before retreating to their bedroom, presumably to change. He came back in clad in one of Eren’s t-shirts and a pair of sweatpants, collapsing into the pillows beside Eren as his head tilted back and eyes fluttered closed.

“God it feels good to be home,” he sighed, and Eren couldn’t help but snort disdainfully.

Rolling his head to the side, Levi raised an eyebrow. “What’s with you?”

“Nothing,” Eren grumbled, crossing his arms and avoiding the steely-eyed gaze.

“You say that now, but if I let it drop you’re just going to get this miserable look on your face.” He motioned towards his own face, exaggerating his mouth into an extreme pout. “The one with the duck lips?”

“I do not do duck lips!”

Levi smirked, and Eren quickly covered his mouth, which had pursed into a shape suspiciously reminiscent of a semi-aquatic bird. He then scowled. Fine then, they would talk about it.

“Is there anything you can think of that could be a problem between us right now?” he asked testily. “Anything at all?”

“No.” Levi raised a brow.

“Are you sure?”

Levi paused, considering. “Well, lately you’ve been recording really dumb movies on the DVR and my shows have been getting kicked off the queue.”

 “What?” Eren squeaked, anger temporarily derailed in the face of the accusation.

“I’ve had to remind you about the recycling each trash day, and you still forgot to take it out this week.”

“I didn’t---”

“You bought the wrong kind of dish soap- we do _not_ use that cheap ass Ajax shit.”

“Hey, Ajax is stronger than all grease---”

“And your Honey Boo Boo obsession has reached a new level of morbidity.”

Eren gasped, hand coming to his heart. “You leave Alana out of this! I can’t even believe you- the _nerve_!”

Levi rolled his eyes. “You asked.”

“Woah woah, hold up- this was not how this was gonna go!” Eren exclaimed, sitting up on his knees. “I’m supposed to be mad at you, you can’t have grievances against me! I have the corner on this pity party!”

“Oh really? And what is this pity party in celebration of?”

“Because you’re fucking cheating on me!” Eren cried, leaping to his feet and beginning to pace relentlessly in front of the television.

“God, I can’t even believe you!” he began. “I adore you with every fiber of my being, lay myself down in your eternal servitude, and you repay me with this? I mean, it can’t be that you’re tired of me yet- I’ve only reached Level Four of my bitchy housewife potential! And it’s not like you’re not into my looks- you obviously liked this enough to put a ring on it.”

“Are you nearly done?” Levi drawled, crossing his arms and legs and leaning back into the couch.

“Hardly! We’ve been married for years, Levi- you don’t just throw that away. Think of the children!”

“I’m assuming you mean Pumpkin?”

“Obviously! How is she going to cope with a divided household?  I sure hope your insurance covers therapy, ‘cuz that kid is gonna need it!”

“May I ask what prompted these accusations?” Levi asked, and Eren nodded because he was a reasonable man.

“You’ve been coming home late from work, have been extremely tired when you are around, and have been mildly obsessed with your computer,” he ticked off on his fingers. “You can try to explain it all away, but I hardly think you’ll be able to cover your lies---”

“The Williamson project.”

Eren paused. “Come again?”

Levi looked a little irritated now, mouth pulling down at the corners and brow furrowed. “The Williamson project. I’ve been working non-stop on it.”

Eren gasped. “You got the new project?”

“Yes, Eren, I told you that three weeks ago. When we were grocery shopping?”

Eren’s continued confusion must have shown on his face because Levi rolled his eyes.

“When we were picking up mini-muffins?”

“Oh, yeah!” Eren smiled, snapping his fingers. “Levi, I can’t be held responsible for what I hear while in the Little Debbie aisle, you know that. But congratulations, babe, that’s fantastic---”

His eyes narrowed suddenly. He couldn’t let himself be so easily distracted. He pointed a threatening finger at his husband. “Wait. That still doesn’t explain why you’ve been on the computer nonstop lately.”

Levi shrugged, avoiding eye contact, and Eren’s heart squeezed. “Tell me, Levi. I deserve to know.”

“It’s not anything bad---”

“Tell me!”

“I’ve been planning a vacation for us. There, are you happy?” He crossed his arms with a huff that couldn’t conceal the blush tinging the tips of his ears pink.

Eren gaped for a moment before squealing and throwing himself into Levi’s lap. He wrapped lanky arms around Levi’s neck. “A vacation? Just the two of us? Oh my God, Levi, you’re the best!”

He peppered kisses on every inch of his husband’s face he could reach, ignoring the grumbling it evoked. Warm hands quickly came up to settle low on his back and he leaned into the faint pressure eagerly.

“Where to?” he demanded and Levi looked a little shy when he reluctantly answered.

“Munich.”

Eren sucked in a sharp breath. Visiting Munich and the country his family originated from had been a dream of his since middle school and they’d learned about WW2 (he wasn’t a Nazi sympathizer, okay, he was just fascinated with German culture). He had three whole Pinterest boards dedicated to the city and he spent more time planning his future trip than actually doing his job most days.

“You’re the best husband ever,” he whispered, eyes shining with awe before his face abruptly crumpled. “And I’m the worst. The actual worst. I’ve been so mean to you lately.”

“Eh,” Levi brushed off. “It’s partly my own fault. I could have said something when I noticed how fast we were going through ice cream, but you get so cute when you’re being passive aggressive, I couldn’t resist.”

Eren blushed. “Well, anyway. I’m sorry,” he offered, but Levi just shrugged again.

“Maybe next time just ask me instead of being a weirdo and becoming a hermit, yeah?”

“But Lev, that’s not how we work. Can you imagine us being… _functional?_ ” Eren shivered, grimacing.

Levi chuckled, pulling Eren down beside him until he was curled into his side. “No, I really can’t. Now shut up, Sugar Bear is getting ready to drop us some backwoods wisdom.”

“God I’ve missed you.” Eren giggled, settling into the crook of Levi’s arm.

“Yeah. Me too.”

And later when Pumpkin made her bumbling way back into the living room, she found her two dorks fast asleep, arms and legs tangled up completely in one another and smiles firmly in place.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos much appreciated! Thanks for reading:)


End file.
